So, now I’m a bit more sober – which apparently was all that was keeping me asleep – a word.

I can’t say too much; I don’t want to get myself in unnecessary trouble. However; 12 hours ago (exactly, if my clock’s right) all of NCsoft Europe got ‘the word’ on whether we’d be keeping our jobs, or whether we’d be ‘at risk’ of losing them. I was – am – ‘at risk’, which basically leaves the ball in my court in terms of what I do next with my job. Option A: walk away with redundancy (ie, money). Option B: er, stay for a bit, then walk away. I’m pretty sure right now I’ll be taking Option A.

I can’t comment on much beyond that. I am fine (except unable to sleep). More, maybe, later, or earlier, or whatever depending on where you are and whether you’re staring at a screen in the middle of the night.

PS: Made me… well I’d say ‘LOL’ but it ain’t that funny, but ‘hey’ to everyone who arrived here from Massively, but more specifically, the COH Forums. Hey guys! Love y’all. Highest traffic, I’m pretty sure, since I started the blog. Oh feel the irony. Or is that just pain? Can’t recall.

Alright, I’m not going to induce a gag reflex – at least I hope not. I could, but I won’t. Suffice to say since Wednesday at 2:30pm or so, it’s been an emotional rollercoaster, or emo-coaster as I had to abbreviate for the benefit of Twitter.

I’ve been up, I’ve been down. I don’t think I’ve hit the highest or lowest points of the ride just yet – it’s more like little peaks and troughs – although it’s still pretty scary how quick those things are cresting and dipping.

I do want to say that every message, every comment, every tweet, every txt has been very, very welcome. I know this sounds a bit pathetic but I hope they don’t stop coming! The dark days are probably very much ahead of me. Right now I still have things to occupy my brain, and plenty of loose ends to tie up, which is keeping me distracted; heck, it even felt like a normal work day for a while yesterday. While all these things in my brain will hopefully transition into new things to work on and new horizons to travel to, I still think there’s going to be a week or two where in my quiet moments, my mind will quietly scream HELP… so keep your telepathic antennae tuned for me, okay?

Of course, I’m not alone in this. A lot – I mean a lot – of good people are being affected by this, from all over the company. I’m not going to comment further except to say that they all deserve to get new jobs and soon. I’m doing my best to help as many as I can even in a small way, by giving advice, dropping recommendations and in a few special cases, giving out a hug or two. It doesn’t feel like enough.

Anyway! God, can feel myself getting a bit maudlin here, and I don’t want to overdo it… just yet. So instead here’s a goofy picture of me with a cup of coffee, as I’m sure many of you know is my preferred state: